STORY OF THE MONTH
The Wrestling Match
by FLOYD THE DOG
Every evening during the warm season, I could lie in the sun, sniff the messages on the breeze and watch Pussy Possum sleep. Dear would water the trees, plants and flowers and, at the same time, cool the sun-baked earth. She does this by holding, and waving, very long green things that look like snakes. They come out of special places in the walls. Dear controls the amount of water by twisting the snake's red head. She usually makes sure that the snake stops spitting before putting it away when she has finished. Sometimes she would decide just to leave it ready to use next time. The snake would be put on the ground, in the sun, getting warmer and fatter all the time.
One day I walked up towards the back of my home territory on my way to have a chat with my friend Nancy, the Junior Doberman. I saw that Dear had left a sleeping snake in the area where the Aristos lived. Mr. Uggypuggy had decided that he would have to do battle with it, attacking and growling and attempting to bite its head off. The other Aristos were sitting around watching with tolerant and amused expressions.
Nancy and I were having a discussion about Miss Stumpy and her very strict discipline as a teacher. Suddenly a rumpus started. Hugo Uggypuggy's antics had partly separated the snake's head from its body. Considerable amounts of warm water were spurting into the air. The snake had woken up and was twisting and turning in every direction, acting like it had been badly hurt.
Aristocratic expressions quickly changed to less kindly looks as unexpected showers of warm water were squirted over them. Roza screwed up her eyes and said, in a very severe tone of voice, "I am not amused! Stop it at once!" It was a command that poor Hugo was quite unable to heed.
The Chihuahuas were drenched. Their beautiful white coats, of which they were so proud, hung like miniature wet blankets clinging to their tiny bodies. "I am sure I will catch my death of cold," Miss Brodie wailed.
Mrs. Uggypuggy galloped away from the scene as quickly as she could, muttering not quite under her breath, "Hugo! Just wait until I get you alone!"
Nancy and I had escaped the deluge. We politely put our paws over our noses while we had a quiet chuckle about Hugo's antics as he tried to wrestle the snake into submission. Cheeky Charlie had seen the whole thing happen from his barn. He came running down the farm road alongside the Aristos' area to get a better view. He laughed until he hurt!
The noise eventually reached the ears of Dear. She came up, waving her paws in the air, wanting to know "What's going on here?" She didn't wait for anyone to tell her. She did something at the wall that immediately stopped the water, and put the snake to sleep.
"I shall have to get the Boss to mend this. Some people will need to give themselves a good shake while I go to get towels, and fix up the hair dryer! When I find out who is responsible for this, somebody is going to be very sorry indeed."
She never did find out. Nobody felt bold enough to tell her that it was her own fault. She should have put the snake to bed properly when she had finished using it to water the garden!
An extract from “Puppy Dog Tales”
© FLOYD THE DOG 2007